


Ephemeral

by deadlyjoshler



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Gay, M/M, Major Character Injury, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-10-11 00:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10450599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadlyjoshler/pseuds/deadlyjoshler
Summary: Maybe it would've been better if Pete had killed Tyler.





	1. Distant

**Author's Note:**

> This story could contain violence or other things that may be triggering or not appropriate for anyone. Please watch out for trigger warnings which I'll put at the beginning of those chapters and stay safe. |-/

Tyler was the only one Josh had.

Everyone else was gone. Dead. Whatever.

Tyler was still there. And he would always be, right?

"Did you find anything?"

Josh got pulled out of his thoughts and blinked a few times, looking around, confused.

"Josh?"

Josh looked down at his hands, at the gun he was holding, and the bag full of ammunition in his other hand.  
He could barely see anything, it was dark and dusty, breathing was hard.

A brunet boy hurried around the corner and immediately stopped, both his hands wrapped around a gun, and a worried expression on his face. He relaxed as soon as he saw Josh.

"You didn't answer," he breathed out. Josh blinked again and nodded.  
"Oh, yeah, right," he stuttered. "You're right, I'm sorry."

Tyler sighed. "It's okay, now come on, we have to hurry up, before someone notices-"

There was a loud crash, and both Tyler and Josh flinched. For one moment, neither of them moved.

Then, Tyler hissed, "Shit!", and they both hurried towards the entrance of the abandoned house they were in, keeping their backs to the wall.

Tyler stooped and then stopped right next to the corner. He signaled Josh to be quiet who almost held his breath.  
His heart was thumbing madly and his fingers were frantically holding onto the trigger of his gun.

The broken glass on the ground crunched when Josh moved slightly, and Tyler immediately glared at him.  
A sound could be perceived, almost like a groan, maybe a bit too gargling.

It was one of the things.

Josh just stared at the wall in front of them, his mouth felt completely dry and he breathed fast.  
Suddenly, something touch his hand. He winced and could only just hold back a surprised noise. When he looked down, he saw Tyler's in dirt covered hand clinging to his own.

Josh couldn't take his eyes off of their intertwined hands until Tyler shook them slightly. He looked up, right into the brunets eyes.  
A quick nod of Tyler gestured him that he was ready, and so was Josh.

Tyler glanced around the corner, not letting go of Josh's hand, and then pulled his head back quickly.

"Two," he mouthed and put away his gun only to take out his knife.  
Josh did so, too, and then they both scurried around the corner, their backs still pressed against the wall.

The door was ajar, and when Tyler opened it even more it made a dreadful creaking noise.  
Josh could immediately hear the gargling noise again, and heavy steps and long grass being stepped on. Tyler squinted his eyes.

"I'll go first," he whispered, "You wait here." And before Josh could contradict, Tyler was gone.

Silence.  
Josh clenched his fist. He was shaking.

Then, a horrible smacking sound. Gargling. Smacking.  
Tyler gasping and yelping.

Josh couldn't just stay there and wait. He had to help- so he hardened his grip around his knife and hurried around the door and outside.

And before he could do something, Tyler had rammed his knife into one of the thing's head.  
He pulled it out again with a gasp, the thing falling down to the ground.

A deceased smell filled the air, Josh tried not to look down at the two dead bodies on the ground.

"I told you to wait," Tyler said, sounding a bit annoyed, as if he hadn't just- whatever.

Josh looked around. The small abandoned house was standing right next to a thick forest, and the yellow-orange sunlight made everything seem to be so peaceful. Green leaves, birds singing, dust particles flying through the air.

"I thought you needed help," Josh said. Tyler looked at him, then he rolled his eyes and kicked against one of the bodies.  
"I didn't. I don't always need your help. Stop trying to protect me all the time."

Josh knew this was normal. One time, Tyler was the clingiest person he'd ever met and then, Tyler was being so distant it almost hurt Josh. Almost.  
"Sorry," was all Josh said as he watched Tyler walk around the small meadow between forest and house and searching for useful things laying around.  
"Oh, you're not sorry. You always just say that and then- you do it over and over again. I can take care of myself."

Tyler was always mad. Always.

Josh closed his eyes shortly and took a deep breath to keep himself from saying something stupid he'd regret.  
So "Sorry," was all he could say, again.  
Tyler stopped and glared at Josh from under his eyelashes. Then he sighed and raised his eyebrows. "Okay," he mumbled, looking down at his in blood covered knife. It was silent for a few moments.  
Josh clenched his teeth. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't. He didn't know what.

"Come on, let's go then," Tyler murmured and grabbed his backpack that laid next to the bodies before walking towards the road where their car stood. Josh waited for a few seconds until Tyler was already a few meters away, then he followed him.

~

The drive was quiet.  
Tyler sat on the passenger seat, his legs resting on the dashboard. He was staring out of the window for the whole drive, shifting around on his seat every now and then, but avoiding to look at Josh.

Josh didn't say anything either. He tried to focus on the road while driving, but he couldn't help but glance over at Tyler every ten seconds.  
He hated this. Tyler was mad and Josh couldn't do anything about it. When Tyler was mad he needed someone to vent his frustration on. And this certain 'someone' was usually Josh.

But Josh loved Tyler. He loved him so much, he would rather die than see him dead or turn into one of the things. Josh would give his life for Tyler.

They slowed down in front of a high fence, turning left to stop in a parking lot. As soon as Josh had stopped the engine Tyler grabbed his backpack and left the car.  
Josh frowned and sighed. Then, he left too.

~

"Thank God, you're okay." A girl with dark blonde hair hurried towards Tyler and hugged him, but the brunet just continued to walk. Josh stopped right behind the giant gate that was being closed by two serious looking men.

One of them had greasy hair going down to his shoulders, and the other one's cheek was covered with a deep, red scar.

The girl stood there, looking like a drowned rat. She glanced at Josh. "Are you two okay?" she asked suspiciously. Josh shrugged.

"I guess."

He noticed his own rude undertone and sighed. "Sorry," he mumbled. The girl nodded.  
"Don't worry..." she looked back at Tyler who was still walking, now being way too far away to hear what the others were talking about.

"Did you see any-" "Two."  
Josh immediately knew what she was talking about.

"Oh."

She looked down. "Did Tyler kill them?"  
Josh nodded. They started to walk into the same direction as the brunet boy.

"Why is he mad?" she continued to ask.  
"I wanted to help him."

The girl's head shot up again. "But... why would he-"  
"Look, Maddy," Josh said and stopped walking.  
Maddy, the girl and Tyler's sister, spun around.  
"He is always like that. I don't know what to do, okay? And I don't know why he is mad. I'm sorry. Go ask him, maybe he'll talk to you, since all he does is blame me for the situation we're in."  
Josh took a deep breath in and blinked, then he rubbed his eyes. "Or at least that's what it feels like," he added quietly.

Josh hated to give people the feeling that they were annoying him, but sometimes he couldn't help it.  
Maddy clenched her teeth. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Josh sighed and then walked past her.  
"Whatever."


	2. Almost

The area inside the fence was big.  
Tents and camping cars and RVs were standing on the meadow. And in the middle, there were three old houses.  
This area was save.  
Everyone had to take care of themselves, but that was okay. It wasn't easy to find a good place to stay at ever since the virus had been making most people lose their minds- or, that's how Josh liked to imagine how it was.

He spotted the grey camping car near the left side of the fence. Tyler was probably here, too.  
When he opened the door, the familiar scent that reminded him of holidays and camping with his family filled his nose.  
They had been living in that RV for half a year now.  
Tyler sat on one of the sitting room suites, looking out of the window. When he heard the door being opened and closed again, he quickly turned his head.  
Josh walked in, his backpack hanging loosely over one of his shoulders, and they stared at each other.

Tyler seemed to be surprised, and Josh tried his best to look mad.  
Then, he just turned around and walked over to one of the wardrobes. He opened it and started to put the ammunition he had found earlier into the wardrobe.

Josh knew that Tyler was watching him and he tried his best not to look back at him.

"Are you mad at me?" Tyler suddenly asked.  
Josh froze and then looked at him. "Why should I be mad at you?"  
Tyler shrugged. He nervously tugged at his shirt.  
Josh sighed and turned back to the wardrobe. "Actually it seemed like you were mad at me," he mumbled. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Tyler standing up.

"I'm not mad at you," he said. Josh dropped the empty backpack and closed the wardrobe. Then, he walked over to the sink and washed his hands.  
"You're always mad at me," Josh whispered, "Always." He turned around and dried his hands on the towel. "I'm sorry, okay?" he added.  
Tyler took a deep breath in and out. "No, no..." he mumbled, "You shouldn't be sorry."

Josh stepped a bit closer to Tyler.   
"I hate knowing that you're out there, killing those things all alone. And I don't wanna come back here one day, telling your siblings that you're not coming back, just like their parents-"  
"Stop, please," Tyler whispered and shook his head slightly. They stared into each other's eyes until Tyler reached his hand out.  
Josh hesitated before taking it and squeezing it softly.  
Tyler smiled. He barely smiled, but every time they were close he did.

Josh knew he shouldn't just forgive him. He needed to talk to Tyler, but he couldn't. Every time they had a fight Tyler would cry and Josh hated seeing him cry. And then he would forgive him anyways- it didn't make a difference.

The red haired boy slowly pulled Tyler closer until Tyler could wrap his arms around his waist.  
"Please, don't bring this up again. Don't..." he whispered and buried his head in Josh's neck.

"I'm sorry," Josh whispered back.

Tyler nodded. "I know," he said and placed soft kisses on Josh's neck.  
The red-haired boy tilted his head so Tyler could reach that sensitive spot better, his eyes fluttered shut, until he realized that right now probably wasn't the best time for a situation as intimate as this one could become.

"Tyler," he mumbled and gently pushed the brunet back, "Not now..."

Tyler raised his eyebrows in surprise. "What? I just want to be close to you..."  
He wrapped his arms around Josh's neck and leaned their foreheads together.

"Please?" A small smile crawled onto his lips.  
Josh glanced at him. He didn't do anything, just secretly enjoyed the warmth radiating off of Tyler's body and the sweet scent he was breathing in.

The brunet kissed him on the cheek, and then the corner of his mouth. Josh really had to keep himself from grabbing Tyler's face and pressing their lips together; he couldn't always indulge Tyler's desires.  
When those soft lips slightly brushed his own, Josh grabbed Tyler's arms and pushed him away again. A shiver ran down his spine.

"Tyler..." he whispered. Tyler's cheeks were flushed, his expression was unreadable, but there was this little spark in his eyes, and then Josh just whispered "Fuck it," and cupped Tyler's face before pulling him closer and pressing their lips together.  
Tyler let out a surprised gasp but didn't hesitate to reciprocate the kiss.

Josh hands ran up Tyler's hips until they reached his chest and stayed there. Tyler cupped Josh's face and caressed his cheek with his thumb. Suddenly, he pulled back, gasping for air, and looking at Josh with so much admiration and passion in his eyes that it made Josh shiver.

"I need you, Josh," he whispered, "Please don't be mad at me."  
Josh shook his head. "I'm not mad at you."

Tyler nodded in return and looked down at Josh's chest, and then at the bunks at the back of the RV.  
"Come on," he mumbled, taking Josh's hand and pulling him with him.  
Josh let out a small sigh. He didn't think this was the right moment to- well.

"We shouldn't do that," Josh said. Tyler just sat down on the bed, and Josh did so, too. He didn't know why, though.

The next moment he got pushed back by Tyler, gently, as if the brunet was scared to break his body.  
Josh loved this soft side of Tyler. It was so completely different from what he usually showed. He always tried to be tough, but when Josh and Tyler were alone, he was gentle and passionate.

Tyler was laying on top of Josh, their lips collided again, and they fitted so perfectly together, it was as if Josh was dreaming. Tyler quickly took off his own shirt and Josh's, maybe it was a bit too fast, but neither of them cared. At a time like that, no one could afford to be slow.

"What's with your siblings?" Josh mumbled against Tyler's lips.  
The other boy kissed down his jawline. "It's okay, they won't come in."

Josh wasn't sure about that. "Have you locked the door?"  
Tyler sighed. "No, but don't worry, okay?" His hot breath was hitting Josh's skin.  
The red-haired boy turned his head right.

"I... I don't know... maybe we shouldn't-" he stuttered, feeling very uncomfortable in the current situation.

Tyler let out an annoyed groan and looked at the other boy. "Oh God, come on. Calm down. It's okay." He not only sounded annoyed, but impatient, too, and mad. Josh flinched, not looking at Tyler, who was staring at him. "Sorry," he immediately said.

Then, he sighed. "No, I'm sorry," Tyler whispered, kissing Josh's cheek.  
"Hey, you hear me?"

Josh nodded. "Yeah..." Tyler kissed his cheek two more times, then cupping his cheek and turning his head left so he had to look at Tyler.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. Josh stared into his brown eyes, they had a calming effect on him.  
And just when Josh placed his hand on Tyler's neck to pull him down for another kiss, there was a knock on the door. "Tyler, can I come in? Are you- are you in there?"

It was Maddy. Tyler closed his eyes and took a deep breath in and out. He gave Josh an apologizing look and kissed him on the forehead before taking his shirt and standing up.  
Josh just laid there, staring at Tyler with his eyes wide opened. It was always like that.

"Sorry, baby," Tyler whispered and walked towards the door while putting on his shirt.  
Another knock. "Tyler?"  
"Yeah," the brunet said, "Yeah, I'm in here."

He opened the door to let his sister in.  
Josh had sat up ran a hand through his messy hair. "Are you okay?" Maddy asked when she stepped in. Tyler nodded. "I'm good."  
Then, he glanced at Josh, giving him an excusing look. Josh looked back at him, his elbows resting on his knees. Maddy followed Tyler's eyes until she saw Josh, shirtless, and with his cheeks flushed.

"Oh," she said, "Oh. Sorry- I didn't want to interrupt you or anything."

Josh sighed and stood up, his heart was beating fast as he put on his shirt. He grabbed his backpack. "I- just gotta go, get some stuff. I'll be back soon."

And then he walked past Tyler, their skins touching for one brief moment before Josh left.


	3. Past

It had been almost like a miracle when Josh, Tyler and his siblings discovered the fence.  
It used to be an old campground, and sometimes, when Josh was wandering around all the tents and RVs, he felt like he was on vacation, together with his family.

But then he could hear those things gargling and snarling and he realized that it would never be like that again.

Josh would never forget the day he almost lost everything to those critters, back then, about half a year ago.  
He had met Tyler in December, or more had Tyler found him, freezing and injured, after not having eaten anything for the past three days.

"Oh dear God," he had whispered and immediately helped Josh up, "How long have you been sitting there?"  
Josh didn't know. Maybe a few hours, or a whole day- he couldn't tell.

Tyler and his three siblings had been living in the RV since it all had started.  
When Josh entered the old vehicle he was met with three pairs of eyes, curiously watching him.  
"This is Josh," Tyler said, "We're gonna take care of him."

Josh didn't know why Tyler had trusted him immediately. Maybe it was because he looked so pathetic and weak sitting in the snow, but when he asked Tyler, the boy always just said, "You gave me this look and I just knew I couldn't leave you there."

Shortly after Josh joined the small group, they found the camp.  
It was actually a coincidence, they almost had no fuel left and their food supply was practically empty. Josh remembered the sun going down, and the pink-orange light shining through the window and illuminating Tyler's soft skin while they were driving down the street.

Maddy, Zack and Jay were asleep in the back of the RV and it was just the two oldest, Tyler and Josh.  
Suddenly, Josh could see the fence, and he had gasped and unintentionally squeezed Tyler's hand. The brunet had been suspicious at first, but shortly after, when they had reached the fence, a small group of people welcomed them and let them in. They gave them enough food for one week and new fuel and it was the first time since the apocalypse had started that Josh slept well. 

And now, six months later, they were safe, and they still had each other.  
Every day that Tyler and Josh had to go out there to search for supplies or ammunition, Josh was scared one of the critters would kill Tyler. He couldn't let that happen.  
But Tyler was convinced that he could survive in this world, and that he didn't need Josh's help.

"Shit! Sorry!"

Someone bumped into Josh's shoulder and Josh stumbled, almost falling.  
He looked up, ready to fight whoever was there, when he recognized the person.

"Oh, Pete. Hey." Josh chuckled and so did the black-haired boy in front of him.  
"Sorry, I didn't see you," Pete said. Josh nodded. "Yeah, no problem."

Josh bet that was meant to be a joke. Pete only had one eye- he never really talked about how he lost his other one, but it was probably during a fight. Where his eye used to be was now an eye patch covering the wound.

"You look stressed," Pete remarked and squinted his eye. "Did something happen?"  
Josh never knew if he could actually trust Pete. He was a nice guy, yes, but he was always bragging about others, so why shouldn't he do the same with Josh?  
"Oh, nothin'. We just saw two of those critters today."  
This was an excuse Josh had used a lot recently. Maybe he just didn't want to admit that his bad mood came from his boyfriend.

"I see," Pete said and nodded once, "Did you at least found something?"  
"Ammunition," Josh answered and looked around.

Out of the corner of his eyes he could see the door of the RV opening and Tyler stepping outside.  
"How are things with Tyler?" Pete suddenly asked, sounding suspicious. Josh's head shot around and he glared at Pete. "It's all good," he immediately said, maybe a bit too fast.  
Pete eyed him up and pursed his lips. Before he could say anything else, Josh felt an arm being wrapped around his waist.  
His heart just moved and he had to try not to smile.

"Hey," Tyler whispered against his neck.

"Hey," Josh whispered back.

"Okay, well then," Pete mumbled and slowly walked away, keeping his eye on Josh.

"What did he want?" Tyler asked and his grip around Josh's waist loosened a bit. He walked around his boyfriend and looked at him. Josh shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know," he said truthfully.  
Tyler stepped closer again and intertwined their fingers.  
He smiled slightly. "I'm sorry about Maddy," he then apologized. Josh nodded and looked down at their hands. "I know," he mumbled. They just stood there for a few moments, both staying quiet and enjoying the warm breeze.

"Maybe I should go and search for Jay and Zack. I haven't seen them since we left," Tyler informed Josh. Before he could let go of the red-haired boy's hand, Josh lifted their fingers up to his mouth and kissed Tyler's knuckles.

He wished he could show him how much he loved him, but now matter what he did, it never seemed to be enough.

Tyler's smile was the most beautiful thing Josh had seen that day.  
"Thank you," the brunet whispered and then turned around and walked away.  
Josh kept his eyes on him for a few more moments until Tyler disappeared behind some RVs and tents.

The sun was already setting, it would be dark in a few more hours. Night was always something Josh didn't look forward to at all.  
When he was sleeping he didn't know what was going on around him. It was dangerous.

When Josh was still a young child, he used to love the night. He loved staying up late and looking up into the night sky, and he'd always tried to count all of the stars, but he never did it. The longer he stared into the black nothingness, the more stars seemed to appear.

Josh walked back to the RV and opened the door. Maddy stood by the kitchen counter and was opening a can of beans. "Oh, hey," she greeted Josh and shortly glanced at him before focusing on her task again.  
Josh closed the door behind him and sat down on the sitting room suite.

"Do you need help?" he asked. Maddy shook her head. "No, it's fine. Is Tyler looking for Zack and Jay?"  
"Yeah," Josh said and tapped his fingers on the table. He felt useless, and every time he did, he got nervous.

"I know that Zack went over to the new people's car, he wanted to help them. I think they have a girl his age." Maddy smiled slightly.

"New people? When did they arrive?" Josh squinted his eyes slightly while getting up and opened one of the cupboards to take out five plates. Maddy shrugged. "Must've been this afternoon. When you and Tyler were still on a run."  
Josh nodded once and put the plates on the table. The door opened and a young, almost black haired boy entered the room, followed by Tyler. "Found at least one of them," he said and smiled. The little boy, it was Jay, walked over to the sitting room suite and sat down, then he looked at Josh with big eyes.

"I saw something today," he whispered. Josh raised his eyebrows and chuckled. "What did you see?" he asked while wrapping one arm around Tyler's waist who had walked over to him. Tyler leaned his head against Josh's shoulder.

Sometimes Josh was glad that they didn't always had to talk about their problems. After a while, everything was just fine again.

Jay threw a glance at Maddy and then he looked back at Josh. A serious expression spread on his face. "Maddy told me not to go near the fence, so I can't tell you."

Josh frowned a bit. "What do you mean? What did you see?" he wanted to know. Maddy turned around and glared at Jay. "Why can't you listen for once!" she hissed without even listening to what Jay had to say.

Jay seemed to remain unimpressed. "There was one of the things, and it tried to break down the fence. And then, more and more came."  
Josh felt Tyler tense up.   
"Jay!" Maddy let out a frustrated sigh, "We told you not to go near that fence!"

Tyler's head shot around. "We? That was you," he mumbled and let go of Josh. "He lives in this world, he needs to know about what's out there, doesn't he?"

Maddy looked at Tyler, obviously shocked that her brother would disagree with her, but before she could say anything Jay interrupted her again.

"I think the fence will break down soon."

Josh was surprised by that, but it flustered him more that Jay didn't sound scared at all.  
It was silent for a few moments, until Maddy spoke up. "I'll... I'll go get Zack."  
She turned around and quickly left the RV.

Tyler took a step towards Jay and hugged him. "Don't worry, okay? We're safe here, the fence won't break down."  
Josh was convinced that Tyler was talking to himself, and not to Jay; Jay just petted his older brother's back and nodded. "Yeah, I know," he mumbled.

Sometimes Josh forgot about how much growing up in a world like that could change someone.


	4. Fence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for this one. At one point it's maybe a bit disgusting, though I don't really think it should be a problem.

The darkness surrounding Josh was scary. He tried his best to focus on Tyler's calm breath right next to him, and it helped a bit, but every time he heard a rustle from outside, probably caused by the wind or a bird, he was wide awake again.  
Tyler's head was resting on his shoulder and his warm breath hit Josh's skin. The brunet was clinging to Josh's shirt, he did that almost every night.

After a while, Josh started to trace up and down Tyler's back. He was probably about to fall asleep, finally, when a loud scream and a following gunshot woke him up again.

Josh immediately sat up. He could hear Tyler gasping and then, the other boy sat up, too. "What- what's wrong?" he asked sleepily. Josh looked at him. "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up," he said, "But I heard a gunshot."

Now Josh had Tyler's full attention. "A gunshot?"

"And a scream."

Josh and Tyler stared into each other's eyes for a moment, then they both got up as fast as possible. Josh grabbed his clothes and got dressed while Tyler was checking on his siblings. "Maddy?" he whispered and gently shook her shoulder. Josh glanced at him while opening the wardrobe. He hesitated, then grabbed one of the guns.

When he turned around again he saw Jay staring at him. "Are you going to shoot someone?" he asked. Josh's expression softened. "No, I-" He stopped. "It's just safety," he then said.

He looked at Tyler who was getting dressed as well. The brunet pulled his sweater over his head and looked into Zack's bunk. "Hey, wake up-" he said, then he frowned. "Josh?"

Josh walked up to him. "What?" he asked. Tyler turned around; he looked worried.

"What's wrong?" Josh repeated. Tyler swallowed hard.

"Zack's not here."

~

"Tyler, where are you going?" Josh whisper-screamed. Something was wrong, so he needed to stay quiet, just in case.

"I need to find him, maybe something happened..."

They were both stopped by Pete approaching. As soon as he stopped next to Josh, gasping for air, Josh could hear voices from the other side of the lot. "What ha-"

"They broke down the fence," Pete immediately said, loading his gun. "We need your help. They are already inside."

Josh felt his body go numb. Jay had been right.

"Oh my God," Tyler whispered, then he turned around and started running to the left part of the lot. "Tyler!" Josh yelled and he wanted to follow him, but Pete stopped him. "Are you crazy?!" he hissed and pushed him back slightly. "Come on, I need your help."

"But Tyler-"

"He's going to be okay! Come on!" Pete now sounded extremely impatient. Josh hesitated and blinked, then he pursed his lips and followed Pete, against his own will. They ran towards the big house in the middle, where all the sick and injured people were kept, and suddenly Pete raised a hand and showed Josh to slow down.

Josh could already hear people shouting and screaming. A cold shiver ran down his spine.

"Wait here," Pete said and pressed his back against the house wall. This reminded Josh of the situation back in the abandoned house, together with Tyler.  
Hopefully Tyler was safe.

"Okay," Josh whispered, and when Pete disappeared around the corner, Josh noticed how fast he was breathing and how hard his heart was beating.

He swallowed hard and looked around shortly.

"Shit!" he heard Pete curse, and shortly after the black haired man appeared again. "There are more than I thought, and a lot of our people are injured-" Pete gasped when suddenly, a hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back.

Josh saw the grey skin, he smelled the decayed flesh and then he saw a head appearing, brown teeth hungrily reaching for Pete's flesh.

"Josh!" Pete yelled, and panic rose in Josh's chest. He quickly pointed his gun at the thing's head and pulled the trigger. After the gun shot, everything seemed to be quiet for a few seconds. Pete coughed and pushed the dead body away.

"Come on," he murmured, as if nothing had happened, and then he turned around and hurried towards the fence. Josh stood still for a few more moments. He took a deep breath before following Pete.

~

It was like a bloodbath.

There were already several people lying on the ground and Josh couldn't even tell if they were humans or not. All he could see was blood, and screams and gun shots were filling his ears.  
He couldn't even count how many infected there were and who was still human.

"Come on!" Pete screamed while shooting one of the dead, and that was when Josh could move and think again.

He immediately raised his gun and shot one of the infected standing a few feet away from him. It's body jerked and then fell to the ground. Then he shot another one, it all went by too fast, and although there was so much happening around him, all he could think of was Tyler.

Tyler.

He needs to be safe.

Please let him be safe.

The dead didn't seemed to become less, Josh didn't know how many of them actually got past the fence, but it was definitely more than he thought. Most of them were running towards the house and the middle of the lot.

"Josh!" he heard Pete yell, and then Josh felt something grab his shoulder. He wanted to scream, but it felt like the air got stuck in but throat, and then he heard a gunshot.  
The pressure on his shoulder was released. Josh quickly turned around and saw a brunet boy, holding his gun up.

"Tyler," Josh breathed out and the next moment his boyfriend had his arms wrapped around his neck.

"I found Zack," Tyler said and took a step back after a while.  
"He's in the RV. Maddy's getting everything ready so we can leave-"

"Josh!" Pete yelled again, "For God's sake, I need your help!"  
Josh turned around and looked at Pete who was stabbing one of the dead in the head. A woman was lying next to him, screaming.

Her whole stomach was ripped opened. Josh quickly turned his head away.  
"We need to help first," he whispered to Tyler before running towards Pete.

"Over there," the black haired man hissed and pointed towards the house. Even from far away Josh could see people fighting the dead.  
He looked down at the woman lying on the ground, she was gasping and her whole face was covered in blood. "Help me!" she whispered.

Josh felt his heart hurting when Pete raised his gun slightly and pulled the triggered.

The gunshot was louder than Josh expected it to be. He squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head away.  
"We couldn't have helped her," Pete whispered, then he started running again.

Josh had to swallow hard, he tried to suppress the sick feeling in his stomach, then he followed Pete- again.  
Tyler was close behind him.

Every few meters Pete raised his gun and shot or he took his knife to stab someone.  
Josh tried his best to help, he really did- but he couldn't.  
"Go into the house!" Pete screamed at Josh and Tyler, "Get the people out there!"  
Tyler stopped. "No, I want to help out here-" he protested, but Pete just glared at him.

Josh saw one of the dead stumbling towards them, it wanted to grab Tyler, but Josh quickly got out his knife and rammed it into the things head. He felt the skull crack, he saw the blood pouring and the grey eyes watching him coldly.  
There was no life left in those things.

"Thanks... come on- Josh?" Tyler impatiently and pleadingly said. Both of them didn't wanna be here at all.  
Josh let go of the body and nodded, then they both ran towards the house.

Josh had always been the faster runner. Tyler was just a few meters behind him, as always, but this time Josh had wished he himself had been slower.

He was the first one to reach the house. He quickly opened the door, screams from the inside greeting him.  
Josh just turned around and reached out for Tyler's hand to pull him close, when suddenly, almost out of nowhere, one of the dead appeared just right next to Tyler.

Josh couldn't even react. He couldn't do anything when that disgusting, rotten thing grabbed Tyler's shoulders and dragged him to the ground.  
Tyler let out a scream, a mixture of pain and anxiety, he tried to push the thing away, but it was too late, he was too overwhelmed and surprised, everything happened so fast- A second scream, pure pain this time, got Josh moving again, and he realized what was happening.

But it was too late. By the time he had grabbed the dead's shoulder and pulled him off of Tyler just to ram his knife into the thing's head, not just one time or two times, but nine or ten times, it had already happened.  
Josh was breathing noisily and heavily when he stumbled back, and he coughed.  
Then he turned around and saw Tyler sitting up slowly, his face contorted with pain, and his hands and his neck and his clothes covered in blood.

It was too late.

Josh just stared at him with his eyes wide opened, until Tyler whimpered and turned his head oh-so slightly so Josh could see the two red, deep marks covering his neck.

"No," Josh breathed out.

It was too late.

"No, no, no-"

"Josh," Tyler whimpered. Josh crawled over to him and immediately wrapped his arms around Tyler's waist to stop him from falling backwards. He quickly looked around to make sure nothing was about attack them, and then he lifted Tyler up and ran.  
It was all he could think of.

It was too late.

Tyler covered the two marks with his hands to stop the bleeding while he buried his face in Josh's shirt. 

Josh ran around the house, ignoring everything that happened around him, he ran with Tyler pressed against his chest. He even tried to ignore the small whines and groans Tyler let out every now and then, he couldn't quite process what was happening;

It was too late.

"I love you," he said suddenly, "Hold on, okay?"  
Josh felt Tyler nod slightly. His body wasn't weak; his mind was.  
Technically, Tyler could've easily walked alone, but practically, he couldn't.

Josh ran towards a small spot in one of the corners of the lot, trees were covering the meadow, it was a space where they would be safe.

Safe.  
We're safe.

Josh's lungs felt like they were on fire, he almost couldn't breathe anymore, and then, when they had reached the first trees, he stumbled and almost fell, but he somehow managed to slow down and immediately kneeled down.  
Tyler gently pushed Josh away before covering the bite marks again.  
Josh gasped for air, he saw dark shadows dancing in front of his eyes, he probably had never been this exhausted in his entire life.

And although he was on the verge of passing out, all his mind was spinning around was Tyler-   
"It was too late," Josh now gasped.  
Tyler looked at him, his eyes were still showing how much pain he was in.

"I'm so sorry, Josh," he whispered and then lowered his head. He stared at his shaking and in blood drained hands, and then his bottom lip trembled.

"It just grabbed you and- pulled you down... I couldn't do... anything," Josh repeated what happened earlier, still breathing hard.  
Tyler just stared at him, the first tears were now running down his face.

"Oh my God," Josh just whispered before pulling Tyler close into a tight hug. And although he almost felt nothing prior, everything seemed to come crashing down now.  
Josh's throat started burning as well as his eyes. He bit his bottom lip as hard as possible to keep himself from actually crying, but it didn't work.  
The next moment he sobbed into Tyler's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," Josh whispered, "I'm so sorry."  
Again and again.

Josh should've protected Tyler. He always had to.   
And now he had failed. The love of his life was going to die right in front of him and he couldn't change a single thing about it.

 

An.: the story isn't over yet, don't worry. This all belongs to the plot.


	5. Mercy

Josh didn't know how long they had been sitting there. He had pulled Tyler close and into his lap, the brunet leaned his head against Josh's chest.

They were both crying silently, but neither of them said anything.

It was cold, and Josh was probably freezing, but he didn't know. His whole body felt numb and his mind was spinning around just one thing.

He got bitten. Tyler got bitten.

"Josh?" Tyler's soft voice said. Josh immediately kissed him on his forehead. "Yes?"  
"You know what happens next, right?"  
Josh froze. He didn't know what exactly Tyler meant.  
"No," he said.  
"The infection- I'm going to-" "Stop," Josh interrupted him.  
"Don't you dare to think about that. We will be alright."

That was enough to shut Tyler up. He glanced up at Josh and then leaned his head back against his shoulder.  
"We'll be alright," Josh whispered again and kissed Tyler on his forehead again.

The screams and gunshots in the distant became less until everything was quiet again.  
A weird calmness seemed to settle around Josh and Tyler.  
The first sun rays were showing, the night was over, but Josh wasn't tired at all.  
How long had they been sitting there? He couldn't tell.  
"Josh!" Someone yelled.

Josh noticed how much he was shaking. And he felt the hot tears running down his cold face.

"Josh?"

It was Maddy. She was running towards them.  
"Josh!"  
She stopped a few meters in front of them and gasped for air.  
Josh blinked a few times and looked at her.  
"What happened?" she asked worriedly.  
Josh squinted his eyes slightly and felt more tears running down his cheeks.

Maddy came even closer, she seemed to be getting more and more suspicious.  
Tyler weakly looked at her, and then she saw the bite.

"No."

Tyler softly pushed Josh's hands away and got up. Maddy immediately flinched, making Tyler cry even more.  
Josh looked up at him, he was scared that Tyler was going to break down at any moment.

"Maddy..." Tyler said softly. Maddy just shook her head and frowned. Then, the first tears left her eyes and she sobbed.

"No," she said, again. "No, why did you do this?"  
And then she looked at Josh who was standing up and took a few steps towards him.  
"Why did you let this happen? He doesn't deserve this! You should've protected him!"  
She cried loudly and tried to hit Josh's chest, but he gently grabbed her wrists and pulled her into a hug.  
Tyler just stared at the ground, his whole body was trembling.

"I'm sorry," Josh whispered and blinked to allow the burning tears to leave his eyes.

Maddy cried into Josh's shirt, and if he hadn't held her she probably would have fallen to the ground.  
"Where the hell were you?" another sharp voice destroyed the silence.  
Josh lifted his head up. It was Pete, and he looked unbelievably angry, but as soon as he saw the three crying figures, his expression softened.

Josh just shook his head; he didn't want Pete to talk to him now, to blame him for trying to save his love, because he had failed.  
He had failed to save Tyler.

Pete suspiciously glanced at Tyler. The brunet still just stared at the ground, and he had stopped crying. Josh carefully let go of Maddy who let out a small sob.  
"We could kill all of them," Pete quietly said, "They are repairing the fence."

He didn't seem to get what had happened, and Josh was glad. Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind.  
Pete wasn't allowed to find out.  
He took a step closer to Tyler and gently pushed the brunet behind him.  
"I'm glad you could handle the situation," Josh mumbled, he didn't dare to look at Pete.  
He swallowed hard and turned his head right a bit.

"Oh, yeah, thanks to your non-existent help because you ran off like a fucking kid," Pete hissed and furrowed his brows in anger. Josh heard Maddy sob again.  
All three man immediately looked at her, and while Tyler just looked worried and Pete absolutely clueless, Josh could've yelled at her, because if she kept crying Pete would notice that there was something completely wrong.  
He wouldn't hesitate to shoot Tyler.

"I'm sorry," Maddy sobbed and covered her mouth with her hand, "This is too much..."

Josh could just see Tyler taking a few short steps towards his sister and pulling her into a tight hug.  
"Shh," he tried to calm her down while resting his chin on her head, "Don't worry, okay? Don't cry. You're too pretty to cry." He chuckled sadly. "I'll be fine."

And that was probably the moment when Pete got what was going on. Josh felt his heart falling a bit when Pete's eyes widened and he just stared at Tyler.

"You got..." he started, but Josh shook his head.  
"No, he didn't," he said a bit too protective, and Pete immediately knew that Josh was lying. Tyler turned his head to look at them while still holding Maddy in a tight embrace. He nodded sadly.  
"It's okay, Josh. You can stop now," he said and looked at Pete. "Yes, they got me."

It was silent for a bit too long after Tyler's words.  
Josh felt the hot tears running down his face. His whole body felt numb, he didn't know what to do, until he felt Tyler's arms wrap around him. Josh's knees felt week and he immediately collapsed against Tyler's body.  
"Hey," Tyler whispered, "Please don't cry."

His voice was shaking, too.

The clicking noise of a gun being loaded sent a wave of strength through Josh's body and he could let go of Tyler just to turn around.  
Pete's pursed lips and his watery eyes told him that he didn't want to fire the gun he was pointing at Tyler's head.

"Don't you dare..." Josh took two steps towards Pete, but the other man shook his head and his gun slightly, as a warning; he would use it if it was necessary.  
"Stay back!" Pete screamed, making Josh flinch.  
"Stay fucking back!" 

Josh raised his arms in defense. "Hey, calm down, okay?" he murmured mystifyingly. Pete's eyes darted back and forth between Josh and Tyler, he swallowed hard and clenched his teeth. "Tyler is not going to hurt anyone, he's fine, just fucking leave him alone!" Josh knew that the opposite of what he'd just said was the case, but everything inside of him refused to believe that.

"Oh, shut up! He got bitten, he's infected, he's going to lose it soon! You can't protect him anymore, Joshua, so stay the fuck back and let me finish what that fucking biter started!"

Josh blinked a few times. Saying that Pete's words shocked him would be an understatement. 

"Pete... You can't do this..." Maddy sobbed, "He's my brother, you can't shoot him..."  
Pete squinted his eyes at her. "We all lost people, Madison," he said, "One more or less won't change the world. By the way- sooner or later he's not you brother anymore, he won't even be human!" Pete's hands were shaking, his knuckles stood out white. "Just let us leave," Josh tried one last time, "Let us leave, we won't come back, I promise. Let us take Tyler with us. So this is none of your business anymore. You won't have to worry about us anymore." He sighed and forced a smile. It almost hurt his face- smiling in a situation like that was wrong.

Josh looked at Tyler next to him. The brunets eyes were surrounded by dark circles and his skin was paler than usual.

He was already starting to turn.

When Josh looked back at Pete he could tell that the man was debating and fighting with himself. He blinked a few times, oh, there was nothing he would like better than shooting Tyler in the head, and Pete was probably one of he most stubborn people Josh had ever met in his entire life.

But then he lowered his arm and snorted. "Go," he said, and his voice sounded a lot deeper than usual. "Leave, and don't come back. It's my number one rule to kill them all- and I made an exception for you. That won't happen again. The next time I see you, I'm going to kill him." He pointed at Tyler and shot a last warning glare at Josh, then he turned around and walked away.

While Maddy just stood there, obviously trying to progress what had just happened, Josh didn't waste a second to wrap an arm around Tyler to support him. "Come on, we gotta go," he whispered. Tyler nodded tiredly.

They started walking as fast as Tyler could, which was not very fast, but Josh didn't care. Tyler was still alive, and at the moment, that was all that mattered. 

"Josh," Tyler suddenly gasped. The other boy immediately looked at him. "Hey, it's okay, what's wrong?" Tyler swallowed hard and lifted his head. His reddened eyes met Josh's dark brown ones. "Pete should've killed me," was all he could say before his eyes rolled back and his whole body went numb. Josh caught him before he could fall to the ground.

"Shit..." he gasped and picked Tyler up. Maddy stopped and turned around. She froze when she saw Tyler's unconscious body. "This is going to end horribly wrong..." Josh could hear her say. He glared at her, but didn't say anything.

Tyler was already weak, after just a few hours. Maddy was probably right.

This was going to end horribly wrong.


	6. Worse

"How is he?"

They had been driving for almost three hours straight now. Josh was tired, but for the sake of God, he couldn't sleep right now. He didn't even dare to avert his eyes from the street.

Maddy sat down on the passenger seat right next to him. "Worse," she whispered, then she sighed. "Jay and Zack aren't talking to me at all. I don't know if Jay even progresses what is happening, but Zack definintely is- he's still crying," she told Josh.

Josh quickly glanced at the rearview mirror. He could see Jay sitting on his bunk, staring down at Tyler who was laying on his own bunk. He tried to listen more closely, and yes, he could hear Zack sobbing every now and then.

"Is Tyler in a lot of pain?" Josh asked and looked back at the street. Maddy hesitated. Then she nodded. "Yeah, but I don't know what to do. He... I tried to stop the bleeding, but it didn't work. And the bandage I tried to wrap around his shoulder is already drained in blood, too. If he keeps losing blood... He's not going to make it."

Josh had to take a deep breath in, it felt like his lungs were too tight for him to properly breathe. He's not going to make it any way, was what he wanted to say, and he suddenly felt the anger coming up again, but he could pull himself up. "Don't say that, okay? Don't worry, we'll find a way... I'm not going to let him-"

"Josh?" a soft, young voice interupted him. Josh didn't need to turn around to know that it was Jay. "What's wrong, buddy?" he asked.

"Tyler... keeps asking for you."

Josh's head immediately shot up. He pulled over and stopped by the roadside, then he pushed himself out of the seat. "Maddy, you need to drive," he ordered without even looking at Maddy. He just followed Jay to the back of the RV, where Tyler was lying. The RV started moving again as soon as Josh kneeled down next to Tyler.

The brunet was breathing heavily. The parts of his body that showed were covered in sweat. He coughed once and then opened his eyes. "Hey, baby," Josh whispered and smiled while carefully caressing Tyler's hair.

"Hey," Tyler mumbled and smiled, too. Or at least he tried.

Josh could feel the tears burn in his eyes again, but he tried to blink them away. "How are you feeling?" he asked, although he knew how obvious the answer to this question was. Tyler rubbed his eyes. "It hurts..." was all he could say. Josh nodded. "I know, I'm sorry..."

It was silent for a few moments. Josh tried to concentrate on Tyler's uneven and heavy breath. "Don't blame yourself too much," Tyler mumbled. He closed his eyes, his face contorted with pain.

"I don't... I'm not..." Josh was speechless. He didn't know what to say because yes, he was blaming himself, even if Tyler told him not to. "Of course you are. Okay, maybe you could've changed something, maybe, but we don't know. And we won't find out 'cause this is reality, and you can't change anything about it." He took a deep breath in as if alone talking was tiring him.

Josh swallowed hard and blinked a few times. "You don't deserve this, you know that, right?" he said. Tyler chuckled. "Of course I do, I'm a little dickhead." This actually made Josh laugh, although he didn't want to, and the next moment a sob escaped his mouth and tears were running down his face. He lowered his head and buried his face in Tyler's shirt, not caring much about the blood.

Tyler didn't say anything, he just gently stroked Josh's hair with his shaky fingers. It almost felt comforting, it probably would've been if Josh hadn't known that nothing was okay and there wasn't a single reason why he should feel comforted.  
"I love you," Tyler suddenly whispered. Josh hesitated before rising his head and glancing at Tyler.   
"I love you too," he whispered back.

Tyler smiled softly and closed his eyes. "It hurts," he muttered before coughing. Josh stared at him, not able to move at all.  
This was it. Tyler would probably not even make the night.  
"Oh dear God," Josh whispered, ignoring Tyler's pain, and lay down next to him before pulling him close. Tyler gasped and pressed his hand on the bite. Josh immediately looked down at him and loosened his grip.

"I love you so much," Josh said again, he felt the hot tears running down his face and burning his skin, but he couldn't care less.  
Tyler clutched at his shirt and nodded.  
"I know," he said. They just lay there, Josh silently crying and Tyler trying to ignore the pounding pain in his shoulder. "This is so dangerous," he whispered after a while. Josh knew what he meant, so he didn't ask. He just pulled Tyler closer and breathed his scent in. "It will be okay," he claimed, although he didn't know why he was still saying that.

"Yeah," Tyler just mumbled, sounding anything but convinced. It broke Josh's heart to know that he had failed to protect Tyler and now seeing him slowly becoming more and more desperate.

~

"Hey, Josh!" Josh had barely slept that night and his back was hurting, so he would've loved to cuss Maddy for waking him up after probably three hours. "It's your turn," she just said and took a step aside so Josh could get up. He groaned quietly, being cautious not to wake Tyler up who, for the first time after last night's events, seemed to be peaceful.

Josh got up and watched Maddy climb into her own bunk. He shot a glimpse at Jay and Zack who were still sleeping, then he walked to the front of the RV and sat down behind the steering wheel. With drowsy eyes he started the vehicle and they continued their way down the seemingly endless highway.

Approximately one hour after Josh had started driving, he heard Tyler coughing, showing him that his boyfriend had woken up. Josh slowed down and shortly turned around. Tyler was sitting on his bed and breathing heavily, his right hand was pressed against his chest. His whole body seemed to be shaking. Josh turned back to the road and frowned. "Shit," he mumbled before stopping the RV and climbing out of his seat. "Hey, Tyler," he softly said as he approached the brunet.

Tyler looked up at him. Josh immediately froze and a shiver ran down his spine.

Tyler's eyes were bloodshot, he was pale and his skin had a weird yellowish undertone. He looked horribly exhausted. "Hey," Josh repeated, a bit more worried and forceful, "Are you okay?"

Tyler blinked tiredly. The pained expression gave Josh the answer, and then Tyler coughed again before practically jumping up and stumbling towars the door. Josh was genuinly surprised to see that there was still energy left in Tyler.

Tyler managed to open the door with shaky hands. He almost fell out of the RV, and then Josh heard the awful sound of vomitting. This was all that it took to get Josh moving again. He hurried after Tyler, and when he left the RV and kneeled down next to him, Tyler was already sobbing and coughing while looking down at his hands that were covered in a dark, thick liquid. "Oh God," was all that Tyler brought out before bending over and throwing up again.

Josh was pretty sure that it was blood. He carefully rubbed Tyler's back and tried to suppress the sick feeling in his own stomach. "It's okay," he whispered, over and over again. He quickly looked up and glanced around, making sure that they were safe. Tyler groaned and slowly sat up. He was trembling even worse than before.  
"It hurts... my throat," he gasped and frowned. Josh nodded and pulled him close, not really caring much about the blood.

"I know. It will get better soon."  
He looked over Tyler's shoulder and saw Jay standing by the door of the RV.  
"Did he throw up?" he asked. Josh swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes, he did."  
"Why?"  
"It happens sometimes. It's fine."

Jay just stared at Tyler, of course he wasn't buying it, he wasn't dumb like everyone seemed to assume. But instead of saying something he just shrugged and was about to turn around when his eyes suddenly widened. "Josh!" he hissed, "They're coming!"

At first, Josh didn't get what Jay was talking about. He furrowed his brows and opened his mouth to say something.  
But then he heard the familiar snarling.

Josh practically jumped up, he even forgot about Tyler for one second, but then he grabbed his arm and pulled him up a bit. Tyler whimpered and coughed, it almost hurt Josh's hurt to see him like that.  
The biters were coming closer and closer, they were fast since all they could probably smell was blood and human flesh.  
There weren't many of them, four or five, Josh could handle them alone, so he pushed Tyler towards the RV until the boy finally stumbled and entered it more or less voluntarily.  
Then he looked up at Jay and held his hand out for the knife the boy was holding.  
Jay immediately gave it to him.  
When Josh looked at his face he saw nothing but calmness, no fear at all.

This boy is tougher than I am, he thought to himself.  
Then he quickly turned around again.  
The biters where quickly approaching, and Josh took a few steps towards them and then raised his hand before ramming his knife into the first biter's head.  
It almost screeched while reaching out its grey hands for Josh, but Josh carelessly pushed it away again and pulled his knife out, watching the biter fall to the ground.

By now adrenaline was rushing through his veins and he quickly took down the second and third biter. Josh turned around and saw one stumbling towards the RV, but he grabbed its collar and practically threw it to the ground.  
It started snarling like crazy when Josh pressed his foot onto its chest to try and keep it down- these things where dead, but they were unbelievably strong.  
Josh quickly bend down and rammed his knife into its head, repeatedly, and it seemed like he could wreak all of his frustration and the pressure that had been building up in his chest for over the past twelve hours.

When Josh stopped and looked down at what once used to be the biters head he could see nothing but blood, flesh and the broken skull. It was a mess, it was disgusting.

His hands were shaking. He swallowed hard and got up, then he looked back at Jay. The boy was staring at the biter, almost fascinated. "Don't look," Josh mumbled and walked towards Jay, then he entered the RV and closed the door so Jay would stop looking at the dead bodies.  
Josh walked over to the sink and washed his hands, he tried to get them as clean as possible when blood and brain was covering his hands.  
His heart was racing.

"Tyler's sleeping again," Jay suddenly said. Josh blinked and looked down at him, then he smiled. "Okay, thank you."  
He turned his head and saw Tyler lying in his bunk, his arm and his leg hanging off of the edge. Blood was still covering his hands.  
Josh sighed. He'd much rather go to Tyler and make sure that he was okay, but they really needed to go since those few biters weren't probably the only ones out there.  
So he walked back to the front of the RV and sat down behind the steering wheel again. Then he started the engine and they continued driving down the empty, desolated street.


	7. Farewell

The worst thing about Josh's situation was that he didn't know when Tyler was going to turn. It had been two whole days after the bite and still, nothing had changed. Tyler was in a lot of pain, he had a high fever, he was shaking and sweating- but he still didn't turn. Josh hated it. He knew that he was supposed to enjoy every last minute he had with Tyler still being sane, but that was impossible considering that Tyler's condition was something between crying and screaming for help and passing out.

The RV stood by the roadside, they were taking a break. Josh was sitting on the roof, his gun and a knife right next to him. He was enjoying the silence surrounding him, rays of sunshine warming his skin and the wind soothing his body. He didn't know how long he could keep going like that, with his boyfriend being in that condition.

Josh had never felt this responsible in his entire life. Because not only was there Tyler who he had to take care of, no. There was Maddy, and there were Zack and Jay, and the boys were still too young to properly help. They still had some supplies left, which were going to keep them alive for maybe a week, maybe less, but after that they would either have to go and find a small village that hadn't been looted yet or Josh would have to go hunting. And, to be honest, he was shit at both without Tyler.

"Josh?" Maddy had climbed the ladder to the roof of the RV and now stood behind Josh. "Hey, if you want you can go get some rest now. I'll watch out for biters or other survivors."

Josh didn't react at first. He thought about ignoring Maddy, but then he realized how stupid and pointless that was. Maddy cared for Josh, she wanted him to be okay, and he should appreciate that, so he stood up. "But if there are too many of them- Tell me. You won't kill them yourself." Maddy nodded and sat down on Josh's spot. Josh looked down at her, at her greasy and dirty hair and her pinched body.

He knew that Maddy would always give half of her meals to Jay and Zack so they wouldn't have to starve. He also knew that in fact, this was his task. Maddy was still younger than him, she should eat. Josh could quit.

He climbed down the ladder and entered the RV, then he closed the door behind him.

Zack and Jay were sitting on the top right bunk, it looked like they were playing a game. A smile sneaked on his lips. "What are you doing?" Josh asked. Zack looked at him. "We found a card game in one of the cupboards," he simply answered. Josh stood still, watching the two boys play for a while. Then, a quiet whimper caught his attention. He turned around and kneeled down next to Tyler. The burnet was sleeping, but he still looked exhausted and tensed. Josh sighed before taking his hand.

Tyler's whole body was covered in sweat, and although his skin had a strange pale color, his cheeks were always flushed because of the fever. Josh wished he could help him, but he knew he couldn't. There wasn't a cure to the infection, and he didn't know if somewhere on this planet, someone was actually trying to find one. There was nothing Josh could do.

He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Tyler's cold lips. It seemed like, for a split second, Tyler's body seemed to relax until he started trembling again. Josh pursed his lips. Maddy had told him to get some rest, so he lifted Tyler's and his blanket up a bit and slipped under the covers. He wrapped an arm around Tyler's shaking figure and pulled him close. They used to cuddle a lot, and even if they had had a fight they would still share a bunk since there were only four in this RV. So of course Josh wouldn't stop sleeping next to Tyler just because he was sick.

For the second time, Josh's life was about to change completely, but this time he wasn't going to let go easily.

Tyler's eyelids twichted a bit and suddenly, his eyes opened slightly. Josh brushed his sweaty hair out of his face and smiled slightly. "Hey, baby," he whispered and looked into Tyler's empty eyes. Tyler just stared back at him, then he blinked slowly and closed his eyes again. His body wasn't shaking as much anymore, and for one second, Josh thought 'This was it', but then Tyler mumbled, "My head hurts."

Josh nodded and rested his forehead against Tyler's head. "I know, but it will stop soon." Tyler just breathed out as a response. Josh felt certain that this was the worst Tyler had been until now. He was weak and if he wouldn't turn tonight, Josh didn't know when. Over the past days, Tyler had been throwing up a lot, black liquid, but he hadn't eaten anything. He couldn't walk anymore, he only slept or cried because of the pain. From experience, Josh knew that it usually took less than fifteen hours until the person would turn, and with Tyler, it had already been two days.

But Josh didn't know if that was good or not.

~

The first thing Josh noticed when he woke up was that it was almost dark outside. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, his whole back was hurting because of the weird position he had been sleeping in, one arm still wrapped around Tyler's body.  
The second thing he noticed was that Tyler had stopped shaking. His body seemed to rest peacefully, his eyes were closed, he was weakly clutching at Josh's hand.

Usually, this would've made Josh smile or feel relieved, but considering the circumstances he immediately felt sick. "Tyler?" he whispered. No reaction.

No, he thought, don't go. Not now.

He carefully grabbed Tyler's wrist and placed his middle finger and his index finger on the spot where he would usually take Tyler's pulse.  
There was nothing. Josh's eyes widened, his heart skipped a beat, he felt like his stomach was dropping-

Then, a weak pulse rate. Josh breathed out, he hadn't noticed that he had been holding his breath. "Hey, Tyler," he whispered and gently shook Tyler's shoulder, the sick feeling in his stomach growing.  
Tyler opened his eyes and let out a small whine. Josh pulled his hand away and instead ran it through Tyler's hair.

"Hey," he repeated, "How are you?"  
Tyler blinked before gasping and sitting up. Josh got up, immediately alarmed. "Tyler, talk to me!" he pleaded when the brunet started coughing. "Please, please... Zack!"  
The small boy stood next to Josh. "Go get Maddy! She's outside!"  
Zack nodded and turned around before running outside.

Josh didn't know what to do, all he could see was Tyler gasping for air and his with pain contorted face, so he carefully lifted him up and carried him outside. "Maddy!" he yelled, and the girl immediately joined them and helped him to put Tyler down. The brunet's head was resting in Josh's lap. "I don't know what happened, he suddenly started coughing, I don't know what to do!" Josh said desperately. Maddy kneeled down next to him and helped Tyler to sit up.  
He slowly started to calm down until he only gasped for air. His skin was covered in sweat again and he was trembling, it looked like he was about to pass out again.  
"Tyler?" Josh carefully asked, the fear almost crushing him. Tyler weakly turned around. His eyes were bloodshot and watery again. He was breathing heavily. Then, suddenly, his eyes rolled back and he collapsed.  
Josh could only just grab him, Maddy helped him to hold Tyler who was now resting against Josh's shoulder.  
"Shit... hey, hey..." Josh said forcefully and shook Tyler's body a bit.  
The boy was trembling even worse now.

"Josh," Maddy sobbed. Josh looked up at her. "What?!" he shouted. All the anger building up in his chest was too much.  
He was about to lose Tyler, and he couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't.

"It's too late. He's going to turn," was all Maddy said, not at all intimidated by Josh's loud voice.  
Josh just stared at her. "Don't say that," he whispered. Tyler blinked a few times, he was breathing heavily.  
Maddy just shook her head. "Don't say that!" Josh said again, a bit louder this time.  
Tyler's cold touch made his body go numb for a moment.

"It's okay," the boy said weakly and tried to sit up. "We knew that this would happen. You need to let me go, Josh."

Josh couldn't quite believe what Tyler was telling him. He felt dizzy, his vision was blurry-  
"No," was all he said.

Tyler furrowed his brows a bit. "It's okay," he repeated, "I'm weak and I know that. We all do. I can't keep going like that, all I am is a burden and soon I'll be a danger to you." He took a deep breath in. "And maybe I'd be the one killing you in the end."

This was it. This was all Josh could take. He felt his bottom lip trembling and his eyes burning. Tyler must've noticed how close to tears Josh was, so he quickly leaned forward and hugged him weakly.  
"It's okay," he whispered, "Just... leave me here. You'll be better off without me."  
No, Josh thought, we won't. But he didn't say it out loud. Instead, he just cried into Tyler's shoulder.

~

"Stay safe, okay?" Tyler looked at Zack and smiled slightly. Zack was crying, and so were Maddy and Josh. Jay as the only one who just stared at the ground.  
That little boy never ceased to amaze Josh.  
"I love you, Zack. And take care of Maddy for me, okay?"  
Zack chuckled sadly before new tears left his eyes, then he nodded. "I will."

Josh knew that he was secretly blaming himself. Because he wasn't in the RV at night. Because Tyler went away to search for him.  
Maybe things would've gone differently if he had been there.

Tyler hugged him before walking over to Jay and hugging him, too. "You're so brave," he whispered. Jay nodded. "You're too."  
Tyler laughed. "Sure I am."  
Maddy placed her hand on his shoulder. She watched Tyler sadly before pulling him into a tight hug.

"What am I gonna do without my big brother who tells me what I'm supposed to do?" she sobbed. Tyler buried his face against her shoulder. "You've got Josh. You don't need me," he mumbled.  
Josh felt a little sting in his heart.

"I love you," Maddy whispered. Tyler nodded. "I love you too," he responded before pushing her away slightly and smiling. "I'm proud of you."  
Maddy chuckled sadly.  
Tyler closed his eyes shortly, he seemed to feel dizzy again, so Josh quickly grabbed his hand to support him. Tyler opened his eyes again and looked at Josh. They didn't say anything when Josh pulled Tyler into a bone-crushing hug.  
Josh could hear Tyler sobbing. It made him feel even more sick. He couldn't let Tyler leave, he needed him, he loved him.  
He was the only one who was left.

Because everyone else was gone. Dead. Whatever.

But Tyler would stay, right?

Ever since they met Josh had been telling himself just that. Tyler would stay. Tyler would live. Because Josh would give his life for him. Josh would die for him.

"Oh my God," he sobbed, "I love you so much."  
He felt Tyler's body shaking. "I love you, too," Tyler said, "So much. And I'm so glad I've met you..."  
They pulled away slightly, but Josh was still holding Tyler's hand, too scared to let go of him. Because if he did, Tyler would be gone forever.  
"Take care of them, okay?" Tyler told him and nodded towards Maddy, Jay and Zack. "They're your family now. They need you."  
Josh nodded and smiled. "They were family before, too," he mumbled. Tyler stared at him for a second, then he gently cupped Josh's cheek and pulled him in for a kiss.

This was it. This was their last kiss.  
Josh's lips loved desperately and longingly against Tyler's, he rested his hands on Tyler's neck and pulled him as close as possible. They both tried to put as much passion, as much love and as many feelings as possible into that last kiss. Josh wished they could stay like that forever.  
His mind didn't seem to progress that this was the last time he would see Tyler. The love of his life.

Never before had Josh wanted his old life back as bad as now. He wanted to be that loser that came too late to class because he had stayed up until 3am just to finish his homework in time, he wanted to be that person the bullies would call names because he liked boys as well and the one who fought with his parents because they wouldn't want to let him go to a party on a school night.

He felt hot and painful tears run down his flushed cheeks. They broke the kiss, both gasping for air. Tyler leaned his forehead against Josh's.

"Please promise me you find someone else," he whispered, "Someone who makes you happier than me."  
Josh stared at Tyler. And even if it was the most cliche thing to say, he could only mumble, "I can't."

Tyler smiled sadly and took a step back, letting go of Josh's hand. A weird, cold feeling settled in Josh's chest, making it hard for him to breathe.  
Tyler grabbed the backpack Maddy had prepared for him, with all of the important things he would need to keep him going for just a bit more.  
He took a deep breath in and wanted to turn around when Jay made him stop.

"Tyler, wait!" the young boy said and walked past Josh and towards Tyler. He held something in his hands.  
Tyler's eyes widened a bit when he took the gun Jay was holding.

"If you... can't keep going anymore," Jay mumbled, "You once told me that you never wanted to turn into one of those things."

Josh wanted to protest, he wanted to take the gun away from Tyler, but he didn't. Maybe it was the right thing to do.  
"Thanks," Tyler mumbled and gave Jay one last smile, then he turned around and walked away.

That was when everything seemed to come crashing down on Josh, all the emotions he had been trying to hold back, and he dropped on his knees before starting to cry and scream while watching Tyler disappear in the distance.


	8. Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short information: I know that in reality, Maddy is four years younger than Zack, but in this fanfic Zack is younger.

Driving. This was all Josh could do.

Far away from where he left Tyler.

It was the fifth day without Tyler, and Josh had slept twice. He couldn't. The bed was too empty and cold, he missed Tyler's breath hitting his skin and the way their legs would tangle together. He missed his hands on his hips and his lips against his own.  
He missed everything.

But that was over now. Tyler was gone.

Josh's eyes hurt from the tears that had left his eyes over the past few days, he couldn't cry anymore. His body was drained and weak.  
It was as if he still couldn't believe what he had done.

"Josh? We can take turns if you want," Maddy said softly. She always tried to convince Josh to get some rest, but she didn't understand that he couldn't. It didn't work.  
"You need to sleep. You look awful."  
Josh continued to drive.   
"We need to stop soon anyways. We're almost out of fuel."

Josh took a deep breath in, he wanted to tell Maddy to piss off when he could see a few houses appearing in the distance. They were far away, but they were there.  
"What's that?" he asked and squinted his eyes slightly.  
Maddy halted. "A village," she said, "We need to get there- we almost run out of supplies. Maybe we can find something there."

Josh simply nodded and rubbed his eyes. They were burning.  
Maddy was about to walk away again when something seemed to cross her mind. "And Josh?"  
"Hm?"  
"We're here for you."

Josh swallowed hard. He knew how bad Maddy wanted him to talk, but he couldn't.  
"Thank you," he replied anyways.

~

It took them another hour to reach the village. Josh stopped right next to the first house.  
They would walk from here.  
Either of them had a backpack and Maddy and Josh carried the guns while Jay and Zack only had a knife.

This time, Josh wouldn't fail to protect them. That's what he had promised Tyler. And he needed to keep it.  
"We could split up," Maddy suggested, "You and Zack take the houses on the right side of the road and me and Jay the ones on the left side."  
Josh thought for a moment, then he nodded. "Alright, but don't go too far. Otherwise we'll lose each other," he said. Maddy nodded before walking to the other side of the road together with Jay. Zack stood a bit behind Josh. He was obviously nervous.

Josh had never done this without Tyler. Zack wasn't someone he could rely on. He was still too young, he was only twelve.  
"Just follow me, okay? Stay close, don't be slow or loud," Josh told him while walking towards the first house. "If you find something like food or water, maybe even ammunition- take it. If you see a biter- tell me. I'll take care of it." He pressed his ear against the door and placed his index finger against is lips, telling Zack to stay quiet. Zack just nodded. His eyes were widened and he held the knife close to his body. Josh glanced at him for a second. Maybe he should try to calm him down, but at the moment Josh really wasn't good at that. He didn't know what to say.

Maybe because he had this ache inside his chest and didn't know how to deal with it. And he had no idea what other people could do to help him. Therefore, he didn't know what to say to Zack as well.

Josh couldn't hear anything from inside the house, so he quickly opened the door and pressed his back against the wall, Zack doing so, too.  
"I'll go in first. I'll come and get you after I made sure the room is safe," he whispered. Josh had slipped into the house before Zack could even say something.

~

The living room Josh was standing in now was a large, bright room. Nothing unusual for the houses in affluent suburbs. Josh used to live in one, too. He loved his old house. And he missed it.

This one reminded him a lot of his old one. There were family photos hanging on the walls, some of them had fallen to the ground and the shattered glass was covering the carpet. One of the couches had been pushed in front of a door, probably to keep whatever was in that room hidden. Josh didn't really want to find out.  
The TV was large, but it was shattered. There were empty cans of food, clothes, papers and other stuff spread all over the floor. It looked like there had been a fight, and maybe those people were still in here. But for now, Josh couldn't see any kind of danger, so he went back to the door. "Zack, you can come in. The living room is safe."

The dark haired boy appeared next to Josh and followed him over to the wodden cabinet. "I don't think we'll find anything in here. Looks like someone was faster," Josh mumbled. Zack let out a quiet sigh. "I can still look," he proposed, "Maybe they missed something. You could go upstairs or into the kitchen." He looked around shortly and then nodded towards the small hallway leading to the stairs and the kitchen. Josh followed his eyes. "Okay," he agreed, although he didn't feel completely comfortable with leaving Zack behind.  
He glanced at the younger boy. "And... remember just to call my name when you need help, okay?" he told him. Zack smiled and nodded. "Sure."

Josh nodded as well, slowly, then he got up and walked towards the hallway. It was dark, the only source of light being the sun's rays shining through the open kitchen door. Josh saw the dust flying through the air, and for one moment it took him back to the last abandoned house he had been to with Tyler. The way the brunet had grabbed his hand and then looked at him. Josh could almost still feel his touch.

He blinked and shook his head. Josh felt like he would be stuck with this memory forever.

He pressed his back against the wall again and then carefully shot a glance into the kitchen. Empty.

Josh quietly hurried over to the open cupboards. Nothing. Then, a few cans, filled with food. Josh unzipped his backpack and put them in there. He found a few more cans and cartridges. Not many, but at least a few. But since there obviously had been people here before there wasn't much left.   
Josh left the kitchen again and quietly went upstairs. He held his breath, listening closely to any kind of noise that would tell him that there was someone - or something - up there. First, he heard nothing.  
Then, suddenly, when Josh allowed himself to breathe again, he heard the familiar moaning of the biters. His body immediately tensed up.

Holding the knife in his hand, Josh slowly walked towards the closed door he assumed the biter to be behind. He really didn't want to do this. With Tyler, this had not only been easier, he always felt kind of safe as well. It was odd.

Josh halted for one second right in front of the door. Then he quickly opened it.

The biter stood at the other side of the room. It immediately turned around and glared at Josh. Similar empty eyes like he had seen when he had looked at Tyler before they had to separate met with his warm, dark brown ones.

Suddenly, the biter started to whirl. It's hands reached out for Josh who stood there frozen-

Right before the biter could grab him he had thrusted his knife into its head. The biter was immediately dead, but Josh wasn't done. He pushed it to the ground and pulled his knife out, then dropped on his knees and rammed the knife into its face, again, and again, all the adrenaline and the frustration and the anger- it seemed like every negative emotion in Josh was bulding up just so he could let it out on that biter.

This is for Mom, he suddenly thought, And for Dad. For Ashley. For Jordan and for Abigail. For Tyler.

Josh was too angry to cry. He just couldn't. Never in his life had he been this furious. Maybe it had just been the fact that this was the first biter he had killed since Tyler had left, or maybe this biter was just particularly ugly or maybe Josh was just weak. He didn't care though. Because when he stared down at the biters smashed head, at the red mass that consisted of diseased brain and skull, he oddly enough felt better.

"Josh?" he heard Zack call, and for one moment, Josh tensed up and was about to jump up to help him, but then he saw the younger boy hurrying upstairs and then stopping in front of Josh. "Oh my God," he gasped. Josh could see the disgust on his face, it probably took him everything not to vomit. Josh didn't care though. He had already killed enough biters. This didn't affect him at all.

"Don't look," he murmured. Zack swallowed hard and nodded. He blinked a few times before he finally averted his gaze. "I found... uh..." He closed his eyes. "Ammunition. I found ammunition. And a knife."

Josh nodded. "Good job," he said and walked back to the room he had just found the biter in. "This one is safe. Let's, well... stick together, I guess." Zack nodded and glanced back at the biter, probably to reassure himself that Josh was just trying to protect him.

Which was true. Josh was protecting Zack, Jay and Maddy. He had promised to.

~

"It's not much, I know..." Maddy mumbled after she had emptied her backpack. She sighed. "But it's better than nothing, right?"  
Josh nodded. The supplies they found would keep them going for a few more days and by then, they could've easily found another village or even city. But there was only a tiny bit of fuel left in one of the cars, and it wouldn't even get them close to the next houses. They were stuck.

Josh rubbed his eyes. Suddenly, a wave of fatigue came over him and he yawned. Maddy gave him a warm smile. "Hey, go get some rest." She got up and looked around. "This house is safe, I checked every room. We can block the door with some furniture, Jay even found a rope. It's better than nothing. And I can stay-" "No," Josh interrupted her and shook his head, "You guys need to sleep. I'll keep watch."

Maddy's smile faded. "Oh, stop," she said, suddenly not sounding calm at all. "Josh, you're ruining your body. I know this is not easy for you. It's for none of us for that matter. Tyler is dead, okay, and he won't come back! You refuse to believe that, but let me tell you something: this is reality. Your stubborn behavior won't change anything!" She pursed her lips and glared at Josh who was just leaning against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

It was quiet for a few moments. Zack kept looking back and forth between Maddy and Josh.

Then, Josh sighed. Maddy shouldn't be telling him stuff like that. No one should. "I'm not tired," he murmured and pushed himself off the wall. "Go to sleep. I'll keep watch."

Maddy opened her mouth to counter, but Josh's glare kept her quiet.  
He almost felt sorry when he saw her lowering her head and collecting the supplies she had spread on the floor earlier. "Come on, Jay. Zack," she said softly. When she glanced back at Josh, he could see the worried expression on her face. "We care for you, Josh," she whispered, "I miss him, too. We all do. But just like he said- You're family now. And a family cares for each other. So... If you want to rest just wake me up. Okay?"

Josh sighed. With a shrug, he mumbled a quick, "Okay," and then forced a smile. He wished he could tell Maddy how much her words actually meant to him.

"Promise?" Maddy asked, tilting her head slightly.

"Promise."

Maddy nodded and surveyed Josh's body. Then, finally, she grabbed her backpack and turned around, walking upstairs, together with Jay and Zack.

And with that, Josh was alone. Again.


	9. Protect

Josh was so unbelievably tired. His eyes were burning, not because of tears this time, but from the lack of sleep that was slowly breaking his body. He knew that he needed sleep to stay focused, but no matter how bad he tried to fall asleep, he couldn't. There was something missing.

Someone.

Tyler.

Everytime Josh closed his eyes, he could feel Tyler's hands on his skin and his breath hitting his neck, his lips against his cheeks, and he could hear his soothing voice again, the loving words he used to whisper. And then it was as if a shiver ran down Josh's spine and made him jerk, and then he opened his eyes again and remembered why he couldn't sleep.

The sun was already rising again. Josh's head was aching.  
He was laying on the couch he had pushed in front of the door, one hand tangled in his hair and the other one wrapped around his body.

Someone was walking downstairs, but Josh didn't bother to turn his head and check on who was there.  
"Good morning," he heard Jay's still childish voice. "Oh," Josh said, "Good morning. Are you hungry?"  
"No."

"Thirsty?"  
"No."  
"Did you sleep well?"

Josh heard Jay sigh and watched him sit down next to his feet. He looked at Josh and nooded. "Yes, thank you." Josh smiled at him, then he sat up. "That's great."

It was quiet for a few moments. Josh enjoyed the silence; he tried to concentrate on the birds singing and the wind blowing through the leaves of the trees.  
The apocalypse had one good thing. It allowed the nature to take back what once belonged to it.

"Jay?" Josh suddenly asked. Said boy lifted his head. "Yes?"  
"How come you're never scared?"

The kid looked at Josh as if he had just asked him how to solve a math equation. Josh chuckled dryly. "I mean, you're not scared of the biters, are you? You never seem to be."  
Jay shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't show it." Josh nodded slowly.

"And what about when Tyler... you know. I never saw you crying."  
Jay frowned and leaned back. He just shrugged again, but it was enough of an answer to Josh.  
Jay was so young but already so focused on hiding how he really felt like. This kid was probably braver than Josh.

So apparently being emotionally strong at a young age was one of the side effects of growing up in an apocalypse.

~

"Come on, at least eat something." Maddy placed the bowl filled with soup right in front of Josh and gave him a strict look.  
Josh sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I'm not hungry."

Maddy exchanged a short glimpse with Zack, then she she took a deep breath in. "Josh. You need to eat. We only care-"  
Josh really didn't want to listen to her. He groaned and got up.  
"For God's sake, leave me alone! This is not about Tyler, okay? I don't need you to fucking take care of me! I'm not a child anymore!" He took a deep breath in to calm down, his heart was racing.  
"Tyler is dead, okay, I got it! Hear me, I got it! He's not coming back, I know! But this is not about him! God, I'm so fucking sick of you pretending to worry about me."

Josh's cheeks were flushed and he was about to leave the room when he heard Maddy sob.  
He immediately stopped and glanced at her. "No," he said softly, "I didn't- that's not-"  
"Drop it, Josh," Maddy mumbled and lowered her head, quickly wiping away some of the tears, "This is not you. We all suffer, we all grieve- but not like that."

Josh stood frozen and swallowed hard, he wanted to encounter something when suddenly, he heard voices.  
Unfamiliar voices. And they were right in front of the house.  
"Get down!" Josh hissed and squatted down.

He looked around and spotted his backpack just a few feet away from him. He glanced back at the window and then crawled over to his backpack, quickly grabbing his gun.  
"Where are you going?" Maddy mouthed. Her eyes widened a bit and Josh believed to see genuine worry.

He just shook his head. If she would follow him and would get hurt- he could never forgive himself.  
Josh pressed his back against the wall, still crouching.  
His loaded his gun when he heard the voices right in front of the door.

"Do you believe someone's in there?" a young woman asked.  
"I don't know," a man answered, "Looks pretty derelict to me." It was quiet for a few seconds and Josh thought about getting up again when suddenly, one of them hammered at the door. Josh flinched, he heard Zack gasped, but Maddy immediately pressed her hand on his mouth.

"What the hell are you doing?!" the woman asked indignantly. "Calm down, just checking if there are any walkers."  
They were quiet again, then the man opened the door.  
"See," he said, "Nothin' in there."

Josh heard steps, they were slow, but they were close. He squeezed his eyes shut and held his gun close, ready to jump up and use it at any moment.  
"You go upstairs," the woman said, "I'll stay down here and check the rooms."  
The man agreed and Josh could hear steps coming closer, his heart was pounding against his chest- the man walked past the kitchen and upstairs. He didn't see Josh.

Josh let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding in. The woman's steps diverged from the kitchen, she probably went into the living room to check for supplies there.  
Josh looked back at Maddy and the kids, they were sitting in the corner where you couldn't see them from the door.  
"I'll take her down," Josh whispered. Maddy's eyes widened.  
"No!" she hissed, "Don't kill her!"  
"She has a weapon, Maddy. She's dangerous!"  
"And she's still alive, she deserves to live!"

Josh knew she was right. But he needed to make sure that they were safe, he needed to protect Maddy, Zack and Jay.  
"Wait here," he whispered before getting up.  
"Josh! No!" Maddy hissed, by Josh was already gone.

He quietly approached the woman from behind, careful not to step on any of the broken glass on the floor. Then he raised his gun, just when the woman stood up and turned around.  
She gasped and and flinched before raising her arms.  
Her dark eyes were filled with fear, she shook her head slightly and swallowed hard.  
"Please..." she said with a shaky voice, "Don't kill me. We just... we need supplies, we almost ran out of water, please... we don't... we don't wanna hurt you."  
Josh squinted his eyes slightly. "Leave," he hissed.  
The woman's eyes widened. "Please- don't... we can... share, you know? We still got ammunition and other useful stuff. Just don't send us away."

Josh kept glaring at her, his gun still raised and pointed to her head.  
She closed her eyes shortly, then she took a deep breath in.

"Sam!" she screamed suddenly, "Sam, help me!"

"Shut up!" Josh hissed and stepped closer to her, "Shut up!"  
"Melanie!" the man yelled back, and then Josh was stopped by the sound of a gun being loaded. He froze immediately.  
"Leave her alone!" the man screamed and pointed his gun to Josh's head. His hand was shaking.  
Josh stared at him.  
"Drop... the gun..." the man repeated, this time slower. He really seemed to try to stay calm. Yelling at each other wouldn't help anyone.

Josh slowly lowered his gun. That's when he saw a shadow behind the man and suddenly, Maddy appeared behind him, a knife in her hand. She was about to thrust it into the man's shoulder when the woman screamed, "Sam! Behind you!" and said man turned around, ducking the knife and stumbling backwards a bit.

"No!" Josh screamed and was about to run to Maddy to pull her away, but it was too late. The man wrapped one arm around Maddy's neck and got her in a headlock while he lifted his gun and pressed it against her temple.  
She gasped for air and tried to escape, but the man was way stronger.

"Give us what we need," he hissed, "and she'll stay unharmed. We ain't killers, okay? We just wanna survive, just like you."  
Josh's eyes met with Maddy's. She gave him an apologetic look, this was not what she wanted. She only wanted to help, Josh knew that.  
"What... what do you want?" Josh asked quietly. He felt the woman's gun press against his back and he immediately raised his arms. "Water. Supplies. Ammo. Whatever you got," she hissed. She tried to sound intimidating, but her voice was still shaking.

Josh glanced at Maddy again. The man pressed the gun harder to her head and she winced. She could die any moment.  
"Go get moving! We ain't got no time for your bullshit!" the man suddenly yelled, "Or do you want me to kill her, huh? Shoot her in her head? Or kill you? We're doin' you a favor, we should be killing you right now, instead we let you live! So fucking move and get us what we asked for!"  
His cheeks were flushing and he spit with almost every word he said.

Josh swallowed and blinked a few times. Then, he slowly took a few steps forward and grabbed his backpack. The woman's gun was still pressed against his back, so hard it almost hurt.

"Faster!" the man yelled and Josh flinched. He felt everyone's eyes on him, his heart was pounding against his chest and his hands were shaking while he tried to unzip the backpack.

Suddenly, he heard a loud gunshot. He flinched and looked up.  
Maddy's face was covered in blood, as well as the man's head. Her eyes were widened and her lips slightly parted.  
No, Josh thought, No, no no...

But before he could even move the slightest bit the woman behind him screamed, "Sam!"  
And then Josh saw the bullet wound on his temple, his empty eyes still laying on Josh. The man fell, pulling Maddy down with him. She could only just catch her balance and stumbled a bit, then she immediately moved away from the man.  
"Oh my God..." she whispered, over and over again.

"Sam!" the woman cried again, the pressure of her gun against Josh's back stopped and she stumbled forward, kneeling down next to the man.

Josh couldn't progress what was happening, he tried to even his breath while staring at the spot where the man and Maddy had just been standing.  
And then another person entered the living room, catching both Josh and Maddy's attention. Maddy gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, but Josh could just stare at the familiar, brunet boy, standing there and staring at Maddy and Josh with a blank expression.

Josh ignored the woman's cries, and he even ignored her when she gasped for air and looked at the three people standing around her, not paying attention to her at all, so she quickly grabbed her stuff and ran out of the house before anyone could hurt her as well.

The only thing that counted for Josh was the person standing there right next to the dead man.  
"You're alive," Maddy breathed out.

He was.

It was Tyler.


	10. Never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short. I apologize.

"Tyler," Maddy gasped. He smiled weakly and dropped his backpack. Maddy was already running towards him, and then their bodies collided and she hugged him tightly.  
Their sobs and and laughs were the only things that filled the room.

Zack and Jay finally dared to leave the kitchen, obviously confused by the happy sounds, and their faces lit up with joy while they joined Maddy and Tyler and hugged the boy as well.

Josh was the only one who couldn't move.  
He couldn't.  
This was unreal. Impossible. How could Tyler be alive?  
"I missed you so much," Maddy cried while Tyler pressed a gentle kiss to her temple and wiped away her tears. They smiled at each other, and then Tyler looked down at Zack and Jay and pulled them closer.

Josh felt his hands shaking. He felt sick- if this was a dream he wanted to wake up right now, because otherwise this would be the exact moment when he realized that he couldn't live without Tyler.  
It didn't work. He needed the brunet to keep him going. And there he was, right in front of him.

Maddy, Zack and Jay finally let go of Tyler and Maddy helped him up.  
She glanced at Josh and then back at her brother before taking a few steps aside.  
Tyler raised his head and looked at Josh. Maybe it was the way he looked at Josh that allowed him to move again. Maybe it was Tyler's trembling bottom lip or his smile mixed with the tears that were running down his face.  
But the next moment Josh had his arms wrapped around Tyler and his face buried against his neck.  
Never in his life had he hugged someone so tight. And never in his life had he felt this relieved to see someone.

"Oh my God," was all he could gasp. He felt Tyler's body shaking, he was crying just like Josh. They both dropped on their knees, not wanting to let go of the other one at all.  
Josh had almost given up, he had lost any kind of hope that had been left inside his mind, but now Tyler was back, Tyler was alive, he was well-  
"I'm so sorry," he sobbed, "I love you, okay? I love you so much..."  
Josh nodded, not being able to say anything at all.

He felt Tyler's lips pressed against his forehead and then against his temple. Their sitting position was more than uncomfortable, so Tyler shifted them around so Josh was sitting in his lap.  
Josh clutched at his shirt and closed his eyes. He never wanted to let go of Tyler. Never. Not again.  
"Hey," Tyler whispered softly, "It's okay. I'm here, I'm alive. We're good."  
Josh nodded. Then he finally looked up at Tyler.

"I love you," he whimpered. Tyler chuckled and new tears left his eyes. "I love you, too," he said and tried to dry Josh's face with the sleeve of his shirt.  
Josh's eyes flickered down to his lips. He never thought that he would get to be this close to Tyler again, and now he was here, and his warmth was the most soothing thing on earth.

Tyler gently cupped his cheeks with both hands and leaned their foreheads together, then he closed his eyes.  
And finally, Josh felt his lips against his own again.  
Josh immediately kissed him back, he placed one hand on Tyler's neck and pulled him closer if that was even possible.  
The kiss was longing but passionate, Josh kissed Tyler as if he was his air to breathe, he put all of his love into that one kiss.  
Tyler's lips curled up into a small smile. His hands moved down to rest on Josh's lower back just so he could could hold him close.  
When the kiss broke they were both panting. "I really love you so fucking much," Tyler whispered, his eyes still closed.  
Josh chuckled. "I love you more."  
"That's not possible."

And then they just stared at each other, foreheads pressed together, and not being able to get enough from the sight of the other one.

After a while, Maddy quietly kneeled down next to them. She smiled shyly. Josh could see that she was trying to hold back tears.  
"How are you?" she asked. Tyler looked at her. "Better," he said. "I'm still alive, and that's all that matters, right?"  
Maddy nodded slowly, keeping her eyes on Tyler's face.  
"Yeah, you're right." She smiled, and it made a warm feeling spread in Josh's chest. He hadn't seen Maddy's genuine smile in a long time.

Tyler turned his head back to Josh and glanced at him from under his eyelashes. Then, without any warning, he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him down so they were both laying on the floor, Josh on top of Tyler.  
A laugh escaped Josh's lips and he immediately pressed his hand on his mouth to keep himself from giggling.

Maddy stood up and looked down at them in complete amazement, she exchanged a quick glance with Zack.

Josh rested his head on Tyler's chest. The floor was cold and probably uncomfortable, but they didn't care because everything was good as long as they had each other.  
"Please don't leave again, okay?" Josh whispered. Tyler was quiet for a few seconds.

"Never."  
"Promise?"  
"Promise."

~

"So, tell me," Maddy sat down in front of Tyler who was eating the soup Maddy had prepared earlier. He must've been starving considering how fast he was eating.

"How did you find us?"

Josh looked at Tyler, his right hand intertwined with Tyler's left one. Now that Tyler was back, that he was still alive, Josh wasn't sure if he would ever be able not to touch him.  
"I... I actually didn't know that you were here," Tyler said and chuckled. "After one day of wandering around, I found a car. It still had enough fuel, so I guess the former owners were infected and just left the car there. And then I just followed the road. I saw the RV standing next to the house and I heard voices. That was it." He smiled and leaned back a bit.

Maddy nodded. "I still... I can't believe you're here..." she whispered.  
Tyler pursed his lips. "It wasn't easy," he mumbled, "You know... Let's say I wanted to stay in control of life and death."  
Maddy furrowed her brows slightly. "What do you mean?" she asked suspiciously. Tyler just shook his head, then he got up. "Nevermind."

He let go of Josh's hand and started to walk away when panic filled Josh's chest.  
"Where are you going?" he immediately asked. Tyler turned around and glanced at him. "I just want to get some rest, I'm pretty tired." Then he smiled. "Do you wanna come with me?"  
Josh didn't waste a second. He stood up and followed Tyler, grabbing his hand while they were leaving the room.

They went upstairs and into one of the empty bedrooms. The minute Josh lay down on the bed he felt exhaustion kick in.  
Tyler lay down next to him and pulled him close so Josh's head was resting on his chest.  
Although Josh really didn't want to fall asleep, he couldn't help but close his burning eyes. And within a few minutes, he had fallen asleep.

Tyler just stared at the ceiling, he suddenly wasn't tired anymore. A quiet knock on the door caught his attention, and then Maddy entered the room. Her eyes fell on Josh's sleeping figure and she sighed in relief.  
"What's wrong?" Tyler asked.  
Maddy shrugged. "Nothing, it's just... since you left he has slept two times."  
Tyler furrowed his brows and looked down at Josh. "But I was gone for almost a week!" he whispered.  
Maddy nodded. "Exactly." She sighed. "He missed you so much... He wouldn't eat, sleep, talk to us- nothing. God... I don't wanna find out what would've happened if you hadn't come back."

Tyler pursed his lips and pressed a soft kiss on Josh's forehead.  
"You don't have to," he whispered, "I won't leave again."  
Maddy nodded and smiled, then she ruffled Tyler's hair. "We won't let you leave," she corrected and chuckled.  
Tyler glanced up at her. He was so glad to have her back- to have his family back. He didn't know why he was still alive, but the last thing he would do was complain about it.

"Get some rest," Maddy said and turned around. "Okay," Tyler responded and watched her leave the room, then he pulled Josh closer again.  
God, he loved this boy so much. Never again would he want to be separated from him.


End file.
